Can embracing vulnerability truly transform your life? Join us as we welcome Amanda Aguilar, Emmy Award-winning journalist and TEDx speaker, to discuss her incredible mental health healing journey. Amanda's mission to empower women to embrace their true selves is both inspiring and transformative. Through her insights, we delve into the importance of mental health advocacy. Amanda highlights the significance of normalizing mental health conversations and breaking the stigma surrounding anxiety and depression. By sharing personal stories and discussing the journey of mental health, she aims to foster a sense of understanding and support for those facing similar challenges.
Connect with Amanda on IG --> @aaguilartv
Her podcast: Embrace Her Evolution
Join our text list to receive exclusive offers and uplifting body positive messages!
--> Text "Join" to 844-311-3767
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Shop our apparel! --> Love Your Body Now
Follow us on socials: @weareloveyourbodynow
Can embracing vulnerability truly transform your life? Join us as we welcome Amanda Aguilar, Emmy Award-winning journalist and TEDx speaker, to discuss her incredible mental health healing journey. Amanda's mission to empower women to embrace their true selves is both inspiring and transformative. Through her insights, we delve into the importance of mental health advocacy. Amanda highlights the significance of normalizing mental health conversations and breaking the stigma surrounding anxiety and depression. By sharing personal stories and discussing the journey of mental health, she aims to foster a sense of understanding and support for those facing similar challenges.
Connect with Amanda on IG --> @aaguilartv
Her podcast: Embrace Her Evolution
Join our text list to receive exclusive offers and uplifting body positive messages!
--> Text "Join" to 844-311-3767
* * * * * * * * *
Shop our apparel! --> Love Your Body Now
Follow us on socials: @weareloveyourbodynow
If you've been following along to the podcast for a while now or maybe you follow the Love your Body Now Instagram page, you know that we have an apparel brand that is all about body positivity and self-love has evolved with time and I want to announce that I am now having anyone who wants to stay up to date with the apparel line and just the brand in general, any announcements that we share I have a text list that you can join. You'll also get exclusive offers with our apparel brand and you'll know when we are doing any kind of launches with different items and pre-orders. So if you want to stay in the loop with that, then you can join our text list by texting the number 844-311-3767. 311-3767 and all you have to do is text join and it'll automatically add you to our text list and you will be the first to know when we are adding new items to our apparel line or if we bring back any items that will be available for pre-order any sales. You will also get exclusive discounts for being a part of this text list and, of course, I plan to send out regular uplifting messages If you love to receive uplifting messages regarding self-love, body positivity nice little reminders, as you are on your growth journey towards loving your body, then you definitely should join, and you will also be able to send messages back to me, so if you ever have any questions or anything that resonates with you that you want to share, then we can actually text back and forth with this number. So I'm super excited to add this into the love your body now brand, and I can't wait for you to be a part of this exclusive community.
Speaker 1:All right, let's get into the episode. Today, we have special guest Amanda Aguilar on the podcast. I'm so excited for you to listen to our conversation all about mental health, and you'll find out in the podcast how Amanda and I had connected initially. But to just give you a little bit of more information about who she is, so Amanda is the host of the Embrace Her Evolution podcast. Her mission is to empower women to become the most authentic version of themselves and to create a life they love and deserve. By embracing the twists and turns of it all, she has been a guest speaker at women empowerment conferences, student leadership conferences and on multiple podcasts. Amanda was also a TEDx speaker in 2018, which is when she realized the power in vulnerability and sharing her story. Amanda also has a decade of experience in journalism and has won an Emmy Award for her work. She is currently a TV news reporter in Fresno, california.
Speaker 1:All right, let's get into the episode. Welcome to the Love your Body Now podcast, the podcast for women who are ready to feel confident in their body right now and redefine what health looks like for them. I'm Savannah, your host, and diving into misconceptions and unhealthy narratives in the fitness world so that we can rebuild our foundation from a place of self-love. Amanda, thank you so much for being on the podcast. I'm super excited to jump into today's topic. So, with that, like, go ahead and just share a little bit about you and who you are and anything you want us to know about you.
Speaker 2:So one thank you for having me on your podcast. This means a lot and just giving me an opportunity to share my story and hopefully this episode leaves people empowered and inspired. But my name is Amanda Aguilar and I also am a host of a podcast. It's called Embrace for Evolution. I launched it last November and it's really a women empowerment podcast.
Speaker 2:My self-love journey started in 2020. And I think that was when I realized that I had this passion for empowering women, and I think it's because I felt so empowered, I got, I would say, like addicted to the feeling of being empowered and I was just like I want all women to feel like this, and so my podcast is a way to reach more women, and really my mission with the podcast and I think my purpose in life really is just to empower women to come back to their most authentic self, and I think part of doing that is just embracing life, like everything that life gives you. One thing life is going to do is life. We go through highs, we go through lows, twists and turns, all of that and I think that embracing that really helps you step into your power and then create a life that you love and a life that you deserve. So that's really my mission.
Speaker 2:But, aside from being a podcast host, my full time job I am a TV news reporter in the Central Valley in Central California, and I have been in TV news for almost 10 years now, and so that is something another platform. I can not share my story, but share other people's stories, because I truly believe I'm a storyteller at heart, and so, aside from being a news reporter, I'm also a huge mental health advocate, which is why I'm really excited to do this episode, and I'm also an empowerment speaker, where you know I'll go to women empowerment conferences. And something that also really love doing is going to schools, and I get to talk to a lot of students, whether they're in elementary, junior, high, high school, and empower them there, because they are a future generation, so we want to set them up for success. So that's a little bit about me.
Speaker 1:That is amazing and so true, with like getting in with the younger generations and spreading that message, because I feel like for all of a lot of people, like 2020 was kind of like the awakening year it's. It's weird how many women we've connected with and I've connected with where it's like 2020 was the year like people just like kind of like woke up and realized that we're meant for more, like life is more than what you know. This, I guess like this rat race we're on. So I connect with you there with like the 2020 just being like a really pivotal year and really like jumping into this whole self-love journey and exploring like what does that look like for me? So I'm excited that you're here to talk about that and just like for some context for the listeners, we met at a women's empowerment event.
Speaker 2:Yes, we did. That's the best place to meet women, high quality women that just get it Like it's an investment, but it's an investment yourself, and then you just have this community around you, like meeting you, and then you know, seeing old friends, like it's just, I just love it so much yeah.
Speaker 1:And there's something so special about getting in that room Like I can't explain it and I get you.
Speaker 1:Like you said, it is an investment sometimes, but it really is hard to put a price tag on it because relationships evolve from being in those rooms. You experience things that you would have never experienced, and it's so. You know, every time I'm thinking about investing in some kind of get in the room type of situation, it's always like I kind of you know that hesitation of like, oh, like this is really, you know, is this really worth the expense? Or you know, whatever that I have to pay for it. But then it's just like you look back on all the other experiences, pay for it, but then it's just like you look back on all the other experiences that you had and it's just like it is so hard to put a price tag on those things and the relationships and the connections and just the awakening that you have with yourself. It's really hard to put price tags on those things, but it's super ironic that that's how we connected yeah, no, and and like and.
Speaker 2:like you said, it's like it's really hard to explain the experience and what you gain from it. You just, you have to just do it. You have to jump in and get in the room and then you'll get why people are always saying get in the room, find your community, because, yeah, there is that investment, but you can't, you really can't put a price on everything that you gain from getting in that room.
Speaker 1:Yeah, especially because a lot of times it leads to one little thing and then another thing, and then one little thing, and it's like you just never know what the outcome is if you don't, if you don't put yourself in those, those rooms, in the situation. So, yeah, I totally agree, yeah, so OK.
Speaker 1:So let's I really I'm excited about this topic that we're going to talk about because, although I talk a lot on this podcast about loving yourself and going on that journey and tying in fitness and really like going and exploring how you can heal your relationship with your body, we haven't ever really spoken specifically on mental health and it's become such a huge topic over the years and, although it's like it trickles into our episodes, it's never something we've specifically like spoken about. And I know just like seeing a video from you recently, you sharing like you want to be a mental health advocate and it's super important to you. So can you just first off share why being a mental health advocate is important to you?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I always get this question, especially when I'm a guest on podcasts. If people always you know why, what's your why? And I always give different answers all in the same realm. But to put it simply, I'm a mental health advocate for younger Amanda. Everything I do it's what younger Amanda needed when I was really going through it and experiencing my own mental health challenges. I share my mental health struggles because I want others to feel seen. I want others to feel understood. I want them to know that they're not alone.
Speaker 2:Being a journalist, I use my platform to share stories about mental health because it's time to finally normalize the conversation in society. It's such an uncomfortable conversation for people, but we got to get away from that because mental health is very real, everyone has it and so we need to talk about it. I remember talking to someone and they said you know mental health. The conversation surrounding mental health needs to be like the conversation that someone may have with their family and say when they say like, oh, I just got diagnosed with diabetes, you know, it's not as uncomfortable. It's kind of like okay, like you have diabetes, what's the solution? How can I help you?
Speaker 2:But when it comes to mental health, for some reason we can't sit around the dinner table and talk about that, so I like to use my platform, especially because I have a huge platform being on the news. You know people are with their family watching the news. I want to do stories so that conversation can get started in a household. And then I also work really closely with a lot of mental health organizations in the community, whether that be through work or just personal, just to show others that there are resources in the community and that there are people, there are organizations that do care and want to help and want to make people feel less alone. And I just it's so important to me to raise awareness about mental health because if we ignore it, it's just a disservice to everyone, because, again, everyone has mental health and everyone is going to experience some type of mental health challenge in their life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I really relate to what you said in the beginning of you.
Speaker 1:A lot of what you do and share is for your younger self and I feel that with the brand that I have, as well as like I kind of created this brand like for my own selfish reasons, and it's like you know I need I still need to hear these things.
Speaker 1:And it's of crazy too at the same time, because you go so far into your journey and your knowledge is powerful, but it's also a curse because you kind of forget like what it's like to be so low or like be so um, just like so deeply, because you're you're, you're so far along in your journey.
Speaker 1:And I actually heard this girl messaged me the other day and she was like she was like she saw one of my videos and she was like I wish I you know I want to show this to my 12 year old student because she struggled so much and it brought me back to like 12 year old me and like why I started this in the first place and it like it got me emotional because I was like I forgot. You know, like I'm so far into this and you know I preach so much, but it's like I forgot for a second what it felt like to be that 12 year old version of myself and like so far down you know in my head about my body image and you know, not really knowing the struggles that I had, like how to even like deal with them, and it's you know, it's so it's a great reminder that, as much as like we feel like a repetitive record, it needs to be said and like our message needs to be put out there, because you never know who needs to hear it that day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's it's part of healing that inner child, right, like a lot of the things like you said that we do that are kind of intention, and how we go about life is it's to heal our inner child. It's it's what we needed, you know, back then.
Speaker 1:So are you able to share a little bit more about your personal journey and what you've learned about mental health and how it's really led you to where you are today?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I had anxiety as a child, but I didn't know that. I didn't know that, honestly, until I was an adult when I started going to therapy. So I remember going to a therapist as a child because I can remember sitting at this like kid table and you know this doctor asking what are your feelings? How does this make you feel, amanda? But I never knew why. So when I started going to therapy in 2020, part of the you know, the consultation with the therapist was have you ever been to therapy before? And I told her I was like I know I did as a child, I just don't know why. And I asked my mom after and I was like, am I tripping? I was like, did I go to therapy as a child, mom? And she was like, yeah, you had anxiety. And I was like, ma'am, you've never told me this ever in my life that I struggled with anxiety as a child and that's why I was seeing a therapist and, honestly, I don't even think I went to therapy as a child for very long. I think I mean back then in the 90s, like mental health was not talked about, and I think my parents were like for therapy sessions, you're cured of anxiety, like you don't need it anymore. And then they never told me I had anxiety. And I told my mom I was like I wish you told me that I had anxiety as a child, because now my whole life makes sense. So you know, I dealt with anxiety as a child.
Speaker 2:Again didn't know, but high school is really where the depression started. I didn't have a really good relationship with my parents, which is so crazy to think about now because we are so close. They're like my besties, but I didn't have a good relationship with my parents. I come from a Filipino family and education success like is very important, academics very important. Success looks like A plus for, you know, asian families. It looks like good, good colleges. It looks like scholarships, and I didn't have that success that my parents were looking for. So I just felt very like a disappointment, like. I just felt like such a disappointment to my parents. I was always, we were always getting into fights and so I just felt like a horrible daughter. I just felt very unworthy of love. I felt just not worthy of anything good and that led to my depression and the thing with how I was.
Speaker 2:I guess, experiencing depression when I was in high school no one would have ever known. It was like high functioning depression. Because I was in high school. No one would have ever known it was like high functioning depression because I was still going to school, I was still going to dance, I was a teenager, I was acting like any teenager would, but I was dealing with suicidal thoughts and I had multiple suicide attempts in high school and as an adult, looking back, I've had to give a lot of compassion to that younger Amanda for even getting to that point of feeling like that was the only option. But you know, I know they were unsuccessful. Because now I'm here to share my story, right, I'm here to help empower and inspire people and start that conversation about mental health. But I think going then through college, that's when I really started to even experience more anxiety Again, didn't even know I had that, didn't even know what anxiety looks like. And then I got older, I had my first TV job and this is when I really started accepting that I was going through mental health challenges.
Speaker 2:When I was in Kansas I did a story with a family who shared their daughter's attempt at suicide and unfortunately, you know, she took her own life. And so I shared that story and I think it just like listening to them, it just hit really hard because I was there, you know, I was their daughter, you know, experiencing the depression, feeling like the only way out and the only way to escape these feelings was to take my own life. And so I think, in that moment, doing that story, I it, it was like I I accepted that I was struggling with mental health. And it's interesting because, after I did that story, the, the county that I was reporting in, sedgwick County in Kansas, they asked me to be on their suicide prevention coalition and I felt like that was just a good opportunity to learn about mental health and resources. And granted, again, this was a time where I think it was pretty new, this coalition, and that's when I really started to get curious about mental health and suicide prevention and so, kind of, you know, going into Georgia, when I reported in Georgia, I did more mental health stories and then 2020 happened and that's when I started going to therapy and really I started going to therapy because of a bad breakup.
Speaker 2:I got to a point of I wouldn't say like I wasn't having any suicidal thoughts, but I was definitely depressed. I was isolating myself from my friends, I barely ate, like I lost so much weight because I was eating once a day. I was like nauseous all the time, like it was. Just it was really bad. I was in a really low point and I started going to therapy because I just needed to gain more self love. And so, in addition to therapy, I also signed up with a self-love program and that was really the turning point just therapy and self-love and just learning about why I do think, why I operate the way I do, why thoughts come to me when they do, like what my triggers were.
Speaker 2:And so, ever since I gained more knowledge about mental health and what I was going through that's when I was I started sharing more. And I remember I shared like a story on Instagram and saying like, hey, I have anxiety and depression. And people were like what the heck? Like you are so bubbly, so energetic, like how do you have anxiety? How do you have depression? Like what? And then I was just more empowered to be very vulnerable, because then I also got the messages of like thank you, thank you for sharing that, because I feel the exact same way and I thought I was alone in this. And then from there it just kind of took off and I started being more vulnerable and sharing my mental health struggles Because again, I want people one I think I wanted people to realize, especially as a TV news reporter, we're a public figure and people just sometimes forget we're human.
Speaker 2:So I kind of wanted to humanize myself and remind people like I'm human. I go through good days and bad days. Yeah, I may be smiling on TV, but I'm also going through some shit too. So a part of it was like I wanted to be real and honest with people, to humanize myself. But then I also wanted to be real so people can feel validated for what they were going through. And now, like I get so excited when people ask me, you know, to speak about mental health because again, that's just helping me kind of with my mission of raising awareness and so that's kind of my struggle with kind of my journey with my mental health struggles. And I will say I've gone through therapy one on one and I've done a lot of therapy groups and they have just been so, so, so freaking beneficial.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's that's so interesting, like where you were at, like going from like as a child to high school to where you are now. And you know, a lot of times you hear, like, the saying that God uses our most intense pain. You know, like that's part of our mission of going out and using that pain in our own healing journey. And it sounds like God left a lot of clues for you as you were in the beginning of your career, like, just like covering certain stories and like having these, like realizing these certain moments that you were experiencing and just kind of like having that inner knowing that you maybe are being called to something a little bit more.
Speaker 1:And going back to what you said of how you experienced depression in high school, of, like this high performing depression, I think that that's so important to bring that up because when I look back at when I was in high school and in college, I also suffered with depression and but on the outside, like it doesn't necessarily look like it because, like you said, we're showing up to dance, we're showing up to our sports and athletics.
Speaker 1:You know we're, we're still pushing to achieve and like do these things and if you're someone who struggles with like people pleasing and like doing everything to appease others. Like you just turn it on, like as soon as you know you're feeling low. But as soon as someone comes up to you or they ask something of you, you have this mask or someone else you can just like put it on and I feel like that. That's kind of the level that I had experienced too. But like, again, the outside, looking in, it's like you wouldn't expect that, because from such a young age you're taught to you know, show up a certain way and kind of ignore your feelings and suppress how you're feeling when, when you're out in public, but then when you're by yourself, it's like I don't even know how to deal with these feelings because I'm constantly turning it off.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and again it starts. It's that childhood right, like we get conditioned. I know I came from a family that it was. You know big girls don't cry. Like you know, get over it. You know you're don't be so sensitive kind of thing. And yeah, it conditions us to when we get to adulthood. We don't know how to properly process our emotions and we we feel like shame for even feeling some type of way.
Speaker 2:And so and that's where the therapy came in for me was just finally being able to one identify my feelings and give compassion to myself for feeling those feelings and then actually doing the action of feeling the feelings, which I I never knew how to do as a child. And it's so interesting because when I went to therapy as an adult, my therapist said something that I was like oh my God, that's so interesting. And because we talked about my history with suicide attempts and you know she mentioned that when I was a child. I mean, we're developing as a child and we go through all these emotions and she was like, especially when you're not taught how to process those emotions, emotions can be so freaking, intense, and that's how it was for me. It was such an intense emotion, it was an uncomfortable emotion and then I wasn't feeling it, I wasn't sitting with it, I wasn't processing it. So it got so intense that I basically didn't trust myself and trust my body to get through that feeling. And that's and she said, you know, and that can lead to the thought of oh, let me just end it, because if I take my own life, I don't have to feel these feelings because they're so intense and I can't handle it. And when she said that, I was like, oh my gosh, because I do think that our parents, the older, there's so many adults I do not know how to process their feelings and then they expect kids to process their feelings and it's like but we don't even see process your feelings.
Speaker 2:And that's why I, like my friends that are paying Now, when their kids ask like, how was work, like, how was your day, they're not like, oh, it's fine, you know, because kids can pick up on that and they can see okay, she's obviously not fine, but she's just to suck it up. And that's what I have to do. And so I love like seeing my best friend be really honest with her kids and being like yeah, just today, was not it? Like I was really frustrated at my coworker, like just being honest about their feelings, showing being their feelings, because that's that's what I wish I had.
Speaker 2:You know, I wish I grew up in a household that process their feelings, because that's that's what I wish I had. You know, I wish I, um, grew up in a household that processed their feelings and I feel like if I did, I do think things could have been very different. Um, but again, we all go through things for a reason and, like you said, I think God was showing me that this was kind of my calling and one of my purposes in life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree with you, and it's tough at least it was for me in the beginning to kind of like share about my experience with you know, things that I battled with because I didn't want my parents to feel like they did a bad job. You know, I didn't want them to take on that blame and I know, for a little while I was very, I was very vocal on social media because that's was how I got my message across. And I know, in the beginning I think it was kind of hard for my parents because, you know, they're kind of like, well, you know they, they felt that you know they're they, they took that on themselves and it's like, you know, I don't at this point I don't blame my parents. You know they did the best they could with the situation that they were in and they were also conditioned a certain way.
Speaker 1:And it just gets passed down and down until someone you know stops it and realizes it. And it's like, at the same time, you know if we're going to be these advocates, it's like it all happened how it was supposed to happen, you know. So it's like I sometimes I struggle with like talking about it openly because I I don't want my parents to feel like I'm blaming them for how I felt and how I did not deal with my own feelings from learning from them, because essentially that's that's how we learn.
Speaker 2:But you know, at the same time, they were probably never taught how to process it, let alone teach their kids, exactly, yeah, and I remember when I was cause my parents follow me on social media so they see everything I share, and um, that's a conversation I had to have with my mom. Um was I'm not, I'm not blaming you at all, like I, I can't, even I can't find anything in me to blame you, because I know you didn't even have those tools. Grandma and grandpa didn't teach you those tools, because grandma and grandpa didn't even have those tools themselves. I can't even blame you and I always tell her this doesn't say anything about your parenting.
Speaker 2:You did your best with the knowledge that you have, and now it's up to me to again stop that. And so I love seeing the like you know, black sheep of the family. I love seeing the, the healers that are breaking those generational, you know, trauma, that cycle, and that's what I think that I'm doing. And, yeah, because I'm, I'm just like, yeah, that's enough, we're gonna. We're gonna take things different from here, but I do. It was very hard talking to my parents at first, but now they understand it and they get it, and I always have to remind them again this is nothing about your parents parenting, because I'm still like, I'm still a successful person you know, still a successful person, you know.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I have my mental health challenges, but that doesn't mean you were a bad parent. You just didn't know what you didn't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think too, like even now I see family members who follow me on social media and, like my parents, I feel like they're growing from the knowledge that I'm sharing as well. So it's kind of cool. It's like we all went through what we had to go through and now we're just kind of like having a ripple effect of everyone gets to learn and grow just from one person being an advocate and not being afraid to be vulnerable in front of others.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1:I love that for our families, because I do think when you start healing, you're healing for your ancestors and you're healing for the future generation yes, yes, totally agree with you, and I I want to, um, kind of go back to when you were speaking a little bit more about your journey and saying things. Like you, you had anxiety as a kid and depression and I want to get your thoughts on. I think a lot of people maybe struggle with like having that a part of their identity or feeling like it's labeling them as a whole person. Like what would you say to someone who maybe struggles with that aspect of it or doesn't even you know, they're not even aware that they're struggling with anxiety and depression.
Speaker 2:So bringing that into the conversation can be a little bit challenging yeah, and I think it's really important to realize that we are not our mental health illness right, and it goes like little things. Words are so powerful, like, for example, in news you know, there was always. People would always say a disabled child, like a disabled child, but in news and I've opened this up like we want to say a child with a disability, because their disability doesn't make them who they are. And the same with us, like it's us, and then it's our mental health challenge. It doesn't, it just doesn't combine. I always say, you know, I'm a girl with anxiety. I don't say like, oh, I'm an anxious girl, I'm a depressed girl, I am a girl with anxiety, with depression, and I also try not to say like I struggle with anxiety, I struggle with depression. So I just I don't know. I just think words are so powerful and they really can make a difference in how we go about our life and just kind of our mindset. And so I think we got we have to separate our identity from what, but I think a lot of it is just realizing there's a lot of things that people probably don't realize can lead to a mental issue like anxiety and depression. And you know I will say I'm not a therapist, so everything I'm sharing is like from my own experience and what I've learned in therapy and therapy groups, like excessive worrying. I am the queen of overthinking and just worrying about everything even before it even happens, like I will make a plan A, plan B, plan C for an event that didn't even happen yet and the like way I just get so like there's fear involved of like this event happening but it hasn't even happened yet and so I'm like making three different plans just in case it happens.
Speaker 2:Anxiety you know that is a symptom of anxiety. Something that a lot of people don't realize too is perfectionism. I was a huge I mean, I could still, I'm still, you know, trying to work on that. But perfectionism, that fear of failure, the fear of rejection, that's also a symptom of anxiety. You can think of kind of anxious behaviors. It's often rooted in, like you not having control of something or you being fearful of something. The uncertainty oh my God, I hate uncertainty. It freaks me out. Oh my God, I hate uncertainty. It freaks me out Again.
Speaker 2:Anxiety Also I think it's important to realize that there is a mind-gut connection and I didn't realize this until I don't know, maybe four years ago. But when you start to have those physical symptoms especially a stomach ache or even a headache, anxiety, depression I will say I have ulcerative colitis. It's a inflammatory bowel disease and my trigger is freaking stress. So the only time I ever flare up is when I'm stressed. And it's interesting because anytime when I was in Kansas and I was looking for a job, and then when I was in Georgia and I was looking for a job, and then when I was in Georgia and I was looking for a job, I ended up in the ER during my job search because I was so freaking stressed and I had so much anxiety and it flared up my ulcerative colitis.
Speaker 2:So there is always a mind gut connection, which is why it's so freaking important to take care of your mental health, because it does then turn into more physical symptoms if you keep letting it go. There's just so many things I don't think people realize can lead to a mental health challenge, even just like negative self talk. You know that's low, low self worth, it leads to anxiety and it leads to depression as well. There are just so many different things that I don't think people realize are symptoms of a mental health challenge.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree, and like even just learning how to connect with your body. That's something that I've had to learn how to do this past year because I knew I was like very, very out of body and it's like when you can like get back in tune with your body. It it tells you clues, like it knows before your mind, and it talks to you.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's crazy what your body can tell you, like it can tell you what is good for you and what is not good for you. So yeah, like like you, I really had to get in tune with my body and just trust my body. I think there was a lot of distrust. I did I had, so it was getting to a point of trusting myself and trusting what my body was telling me.
Speaker 1:I want to know more about so like for me, I really have like this big dream to eventually like be able to talk more to like student athletes and younger, like younger girls about. You know the issues of my mission, and I know you said that you do talk to high schoolers and younger kids and I'm curious how, how you meet them where they're at Like. For me, I'm just like I I think about talking with a kid and talking about those struggles and I'm like I don't know how to talk to you but like I want to help so bad and I'm curious like what your approach is, like how you like just like how you have that conversation with them and help them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I honestly. I mean, granted, I'm in my 30s, so I am older than them, but I always approach kids like I'm not here to lecture you, like I never try to come off with this lecturing kind of intention. I'm always just I'm your friend, we're just having a regular conversation and it is just kind of getting them comfortable with you. Especially, like you know, with the high schoolers it's difficult because you're that age where they just they think they know everything. I mean, I will say that when I was in high school I thought I knew everything. I didn't want to listen to any kind of authority figure, right. But I think, for with the high school, when I go talk to them, is I get it Like most of us in high school and just in the age we are, what they are going through we also went through too, like it's not, it's nothing new.
Speaker 2:They're going through the stress of getting good grades. They're going through the stress of thinking about what they want to freaking do for the rest of their life. I don't know why we stress so much on high school students like figuring it out.
Speaker 2:We don't even know ourselves, like that's a whole nother thing, like why, why did they do that to us? But so they go through that stress. They go through the stress of college, and then not only do they have stress from academics and school, they're going through stuff with their parents and friends, like there's just so much, and I just always think about what I went through and I just kind of share my experiences. I think they want to hear someone that has gone through it too, and it does help to look a little younger and not be, you know, like an older teacher kind of thing. And I don't ever lecture them with it, I just talk to them and just like a regular conversation that I'm having with my friends and that usually gets them to open up more and and then be like okay, wait, let me hear you out because you said something that I really resonate with, and so I'm going to listen to what you have to say.
Speaker 2:And then with the little kids, they're just funny, like you can just be fun with them, but they're so smart. I don't think people realize that as like, yeah, elementary, middle school, they're young, but they get it Like things don't go past them, like they're very smart and so I don't try to treat them like this child. Like you know, it's again connecting with them and kind of being fun and interactive. I know I do a lot of like raise your hand if you've ever felt like this, like just getting them involved in the conversation definitely helps as well, and I honestly love going to the schools because, again, they are a future generation and if we don't, you know, set them up for success, give them these skills, like I don't want them to fail, because then they're going to fail the world and I don't want that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's super powerful and like really helpful tips, even for parents, like trying to connect with their kid, like I think that that's a big thing that I remember being a teenager, like when they treat you like you know they're the authority and like trying to tell you what to do. I think there's something so powerful in every person having the open mind that we can learn something from anyone of any age. And like having that approach with every conversation. Like you said, just connect, like ask questions, like care more about what they have to say than trying to lecture. And you know, tell them everything you've learned, because it doesn't always hit with people. You know, trying to say everything that you've gone through and what you've learned, yes, it's helpful, but you know how can you best approach that conversation. So I love those tips.
Speaker 2:Yeah, teenagers on honestly. They just want to feel validated. You know, I think they have maybe parents or adults in their life that don't validate their experiences and their feelings, and I think that's how we connect with them is just saying I get it, I get it, I see you, I understand you, I hear you. What you're feeling, I get it. You have every right to feel that way, and here's here's how I got through it.
Speaker 1:So what, what would you like say? Are your best tips or best advice of someone, like managing their mental health, whether they're struggling with high stress or anxiety or depression? Like, do you have top tips that you're like these are great ways you know that you can help.
Speaker 2:So I think, one you just have to first, you want to accept and be aware that you need to make changes in your life. I think that's the first step in starting to maintain your mental health is getting out of that kind of victim mentality and blaming everyone else and realizing that you are in control of your life and you have to make these intentional changes to better yourself, your lifestyle and your mindset. And so once you're able to be aware and accept that, then I think there's a lot of practices that you can do. I think for me, especially with work, I was experiencing so much burnout and that just like also triggered a lot of my anxiety as well. You have to have like a work life balance, and I definitely have been better with setting like clear boundaries when it comes to work. You know, once I'm off because news is happening, 24, seven it is so go, go, go. You're on like all the time and even though, like I feel like have a thousand tabs open in my head every day 24, 7, I will say that, like I don't look at my phone, I don't check my emails once I'm off work, um, I try really hard when I go on you, because on vacations I used to check my work phone all the time. I would even watch the news when I'd go on vacations, like, and so I stopped doing that because it was just causing me so much like I was kind of in this fight or flight mode. And so practice boundaries. Practice boundaries at work. Say no to things that I have an auto. If it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no. And so everything that I need to make decisions on that's my go-to. If it's not a hell, yes, it's a hell no. Practice saying no. Practice saying no to people. Practice saying no to situations. Practice saying no in your career relationships, whatever it may be. I think boundaries are huge in maintaining your mental health Also, just like like self care, and I think self care can look very different for many people.
Speaker 2:A lot of people look at exercise as self care because that brings them kind of that peace and grounding. For me, self care can just be walking with my dog, you know, around the apartment complex, like it just looks different, but always practice it. And of course you know around the apartment complex like it just looks different, but always practice it. And of course you know I think it is really important to eat nutritious food. That's something that I'm still learning how to do, but you want to make sure that you're putting good food in your body so you can then also have good mental health, physical health as well.
Speaker 2:Something I also love doing is just like meditation, and I think a lot of people think meditating like 30 minutes. I can't even meditate for 30 minutes. I'll always go on YouTube and look for like five to 10 minute kind of meditation and that, honestly, when I'm super anxious, I'll meditate and I'll also journal. When I'm super anxious, I'll meditate and I'll also journal. I think it's also a really easy practice is just like surrounding yourself with good people, like know who your support system is, because you're not going to be feeling 100 all the time, like it's just not possible. So have a support system that you know you can connect with when you are feeling maybe 50% and you need that extra support.
Speaker 2:You need someone to be like hey, you know, I, I, I understand why you're feeling like this, um, and so those are some of my self like kind of practices when I, when it comes to maintaining my mental health, um, something that I also like doing, and this is something I learned in my self-love journey. Find something that brings you joy and schedule it in your calendar. I'm a calendar girly If it's not on my Google calendar, it's not happening. So, like schedule activities that bring you joy. And so, for example, it might sound so funny, but I love dumplings.
Speaker 1:I remember this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love dumplings and I they eating them just like makes me so happy. So every two weeks I scheduled like me eating dumplings because it just brought me so much joy. So like, find something that brings you joy and literally schedule it in your calendar and it's something that you can look forward to and you're constantly, you know, practicing this, this you can look forward to and you're constantly, you know, practicing this, this, whatever that may be. What that, that thing that brings you joy, so that when you do get to a low point, you're not like trying to figure it out and like scrambling to figure out okay, how can I make myself happy? Kind of thing. You're already practicing it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. You, you started what you started with and this is something I teach too where your first point was to have awareness of what's going on in your own head and like getting out of that victim mentality, like taking ownership, and like the awareness is so powerful and it honestly has to be the first step, because I see a lot of people try to be like, do self-care, do self-care, and it's like that's so far along, like, yes, like self-care is so important. But if, like, you don't even have any awareness of what's going on in the head and it's just all autopilot, you're not going to like be able to make much change for yourself. And I love that. That's what you started with and you know a lot of the practices are ways that feel uncomfortable for you, but they honor you and like having boundaries and saying no, like that's that's one of the.
Speaker 1:I think that that's one of the reasons why so many people like kind of disconnect with their body and stop trusting themselves because they're doing everything for everyone else and they're not listening to. Like you said, if it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no. I love that. And as much as it feels uncomfortable to upset someone, or like not be there for someone when you feel like you should. It's like if you're not putting yourself first, then you're ultimately. That's how the mental health challenges arise and come up so much.
Speaker 2:So I love that you started with that and your others are so important, like I didn't realize how important it was to maintaining your mental health. But it's like, like you said, a lot of us are people pleasers and we just want to do everything for everyone else, but like you can't do everything for everyone else If you're not doing anything for yourself. Like you have to pour into yourself and do things that make you happy and like and I will say is so uncomfortable, putting a boundary in place and there are people that might not like it.
Speaker 2:but you have to realize the people that don't like when you put a boundary in place are the people that you know benefit from you not having any boundaries. And so when you realize if there is someone, that you know benefit from you not having any boundaries.
Speaker 2:And so when you realize if there is someone that you know, you put a boundary in place and then they're like hella, mad, you don't want them in your life. That person is not going to help your mental health, you know. And so, like my friends, I'm so blessed to have such amazing friends. And you know my friends, they they're in this like, they love going out and you know doing things. I sometimes like to go out, sometimes I like to chill, but it's funny because they'll be, they'll ask and be like Amanda, like we want to go out, like is it a hell, yes, for you, or hell, no? Cause they, like, they know now, and then I'm like yeah, it's a hell.
Speaker 2:No, and they're like okay, and they understand and they get it. And I look back at, you know, some other friends that I've had in my life that have kind of naturally, you know, we, we parted and I think if I were ever to put a boundary in place, I know they would have taken it like what the heck and found it very offensive and I just don't want those kinds of people in my life and it's the hell. Yes, it goes to situations too, not just people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what's the saying? The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind. I love that. It's like 100%, yeah, such a perfect reminder, and I mean it's as much as like we can preach all these things. I feel like it's important to like acknowledge that these are not easy practices. They're hard, and I feel like it's important to like acknowledge that these are not easy practices and I feel like that's part of why, like even I, I've moved, I've been out of state from family for so long and I feel like part of me like didn't feel, like I didn't trust myself enough to want to go back, because I felt like I people pleased when I live back home, like I did everything for everyone else, because I wasn't never taught how to say no, like I just didn't know how. And like now, like we want to go back home and it's like you know, I feel I trust myself enough to practice those boundaries, as much as it's going to be uncomfortable. So it's.
Speaker 1:These types of things are not easy, but that's where the the benefit on the other side of it comes from is like you, just like you gain confidence with the little no's and the little things it doesn't have to be like super big and scary, like practice it in something that means nothing, like yeah, like you said, like going out with friends, like if you have that relationship with your friends that you know it's not going to offend them and you say no, and it feels a little uncomfortable because you feel kind of obligated to go. But it's like practice those things in situations that don't really matter and you start to gain confidence with that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I love that you said you'd like trust yourself now that you know you can go back home.
Speaker 2:I love that and I was the same way. I mean, I lived in DC, Georgia and Kansas and I loved it. And coming back to California, and my parents are in the Bay area I was a little worried because I was like, oh my gosh, like is it going to be the same all over again, where I just do everything for other people? And it came with building my confidence and building trust in myself, where now I'm in California and I'm able to put those boundaries in place and and trust what my body is telling me is good for me and what's not good for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. Well, okay, is there anything else before we wrap up that you want to share? Like leave the listeners with that we haven't touched on, or you just want to end with?
Speaker 2:Um, you know, just going on mental health, I think it's just again, it's really important that we continue talking about it and I think, something that I really wanted to say, and especially because, you know, we we see a lot of mental health gets brought up when we see celebrities, you know take their own lives, and we always hear the oh my gosh, I didn't think it was them.
Speaker 2:We always hear the make sure you check in on all your friends, especially your happy ones. Like yes, this is all amazing, I think it's true, Do check in on your friends. Like yes, keep talking about mental health. Yes, check in on the happy friend. But I think it's also really important to not shame people when they talk about their feelings.
Speaker 2:I think we are in such a society that shames people. You hear a lot of people oh, they're so sensitive, they're dramatic, they're just trying to get attention. When someone is sharing their feelings and they are being vulnerable, don't shame them. We have to get out of that, Because when you shame someone, what's going to happen? They're not going to want to talk about their feelings. And then what's going to happen when they don't talk about their feelings? Everything just, you know, get suppressed and then, and then it could lead to a life changing decision. And so I think that's one of my biggest things as we continue this conversation about mental health is that when people are reaching out for help or just sharing something, don't shame them for it. I think we have to validate people, even though you might not understand it, you can still validate how they're feeling.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that is such a powerful message because it is such a little thing that we tend to do, especially if someone is trying to express a such like, if they feel something and it's negative towards you, but they're trying to be open about it and be honest about it. Our natural tendency is to like be in victim mode and to do anything to defend ourselves, but not if you don't have that awareness. You're not really like realizing that, you're basically not validating how they feel and you're making it about you. So that's so powerful that you mentioned that, especially like we all just need to like increase our awareness of how we respond to others, and you know, understand that communicating and like allowing people to speak how they feel in the best way that they can is is can go a long way. So I love that. You said that. Thank you, awesome. Well, of course, I'll leave any links that you want to share, but is there anywhere that you want to mention where people can find you like check out the podcast and connect with?
Speaker 2:you, so you can find me on Instagram. It's a Aguilar TV, a-a-g-u-i-l-a-r TV, and then you can always follow, like, leave comments, rate, review, whatever, but my podcast, embrace Her Evolution is on Spotify and Apple podcasts.
Speaker 1:Awesome. Well, thank you so much for today, Amanda. It was great having you on. Thank you so much for having me today, Amanda it was great having you on.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for having me. Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. You have no idea how grateful I am to have you as one of the Love your Body Now listeners. If you are loving this podcast, it would mean the world to me if you subscribed and left a review. This helps me get the message out to more women just like you who are also committed to their journey. And if you love this episode, please be sure to share it with someone who you know needs to hear today's message. Together, we can help more women recognize their self-worth and build their confidence from a much deeper place, just like you're doing right now. Let's help change the world, one woman at a time. All right, talk to you soon, friend.